|Violation of post op care. Exhibit A.|
|Weapons of mass destruction.|
A mixing spatula will gently massage the skin without ill effect if used delicately and with some reservation. I was very careful with my first exploration. My manic laughter and expletives did not bring the police, but I am sure I woke up more than half of the neighborhood wildlife when I plunged my spatula Excalibur into the heart of my calf's scaly dragon itch. I continued carefully scratching for a brief 2 or 3 hours. When my arm finally tired, I retracted my makeshift sword to discover my weapon significantly reduced. I managed to dig a 2 inch chunk out with the hilt, but found a nickel sized piece remained behind. The cast away piece laughed at my best efforts to dislodge it and hid within the layered mysteries of my cast. I slept and prepared my best excuses for an impromptu doctors visit. When I awoke I felt the wayward rubber embedded onto my heal. Ever seen a cat with tape on it's paws?
|Today's special. Really fresh goat cheese omelet.|
|Post-Impressionist. Still has both ears.|
In my two and a half day 1 leg odyssey I gorged on the delicious home cooked organic fare that my sister feeds her family. Her emphasis on natural proteins and vegetables nicely complimented my own diabetic diet. A welcome respite from the temptations of my carbohydrate crazed companion at home, as I no longer generate the cardio required to burn pizza, Lucky Charms, and popcorn. An unexplained hypo prevented me from an exciting trip to town for 4 new baby chicks. Need a little more research, but I believe the altitude knocked my insulin needs down by 30%. A 9 mph gator drive, complete with goat escort, left me longing for my trail shoes. There is a Grandfather Mountain Marathon reminiscent road right at the foot of my sisters mountain driveway that runs all the way into the next county. After several shellackings from close family (read vicious competitors), I knew that Mario Cart practice would henceforth be replacing my daily General Hospital window. As a parting gift my cast was adorned with original works and signed by the artists, my niece and nephew. The most controversial piece, a daring modern take on racism, the environment, wealth distribution, and the waning of religion in a post-global economy by my nephew titled: Alligator in the bathtub. Wish I could get in a bath without a trashcan liner tied around my leg! Thanks for a great visit S. I had a blast.
|Alligator in the bathtub. A sharpie sketch on fiberglass.|